And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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