If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
