how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize