There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
