brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
