yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
