Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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