Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
