people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
