Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize