You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
