My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize