Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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