everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
