Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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