i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
