PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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