Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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