My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
