i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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