if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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