so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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