It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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