I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
