garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize