You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I will pee on everything he values.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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