I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
