i just had sex bonerless
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
