Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
They have beer where we have blood.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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