i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish I only lived at night.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize