ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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