We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
