O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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