also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
