Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
