Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Randomize
