In the future we'll all be gay
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
