there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
