turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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