when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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