You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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