i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
