i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
should my penis look like a turkey
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
