Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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