My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
