If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
