If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
