lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
