The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize