im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
