Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my shit smells like andre
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
