My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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