Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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