Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
