We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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