she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize