I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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