She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
