yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
