i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize