My nipple is on Facebook.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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