now i know why i became what i already was.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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