Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
