...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
